Monday, November 23, 2009

267.305

I LOVE being a THETA MOM...
When my sister, April, TAGGED me on her blog...I was flattered...
Then I thought What in the heck is a Theta mom???
April gave the description of The True Authentic Mom.
But I needed more.
So I went to this blog, the Theta Mom and I found this in her mission statement........
What makes you a Theta Mom?
Our own mothers and grandmothers didn’t live in a time when issues and topics, especially regarding motherhood, were easily discussed. They also didn’t have many choices. Today, women have so many opportunities, including the power to be heard. So, start talking! We need to get real about motherhood and speak authentically because that is the real essence of a Theta Mom.
Here are some things to consider:
What surprised you about motherhood? What didn’t you expect? What do you wish someone would have told you about motherhood or pregnancy? What would you share with a mommy-to-be right now? If you could write a book, what aspect of motherhood would you focus on? Why? What does it mean (to you) to be truly authentic? What have you discovered about yourself as a mother? What has changed in your life since motherhood? What hasn’t changed? What stages of motherhood have been the most difficult? Why? What aspects of motherhood have been the most special and/or rewarding? What do you want out of motherhood? What are your own hopes and fears about motherhood?
So that made me think...what experiences in my life has helped to make me an authentic mom???
I liked the question, "What have you discovered about yourself as a mother?"
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My answer to that is, I have learned I can't do it alone.
Brent and I are a team.
I know everyone says that...but for real...we are!
We do everything together, we share responsibilities and we ALWAYS try to work as a team.
These kids have a chance in life because of their Father and his patience and love for them.
He has taught me so many things in so many ways.
***
There are a few experiences that have helped in making me an Theta Mom...
My very first experience at being a Mom was a very big growing and learning experience.
My first sweet baby, Madi Bell, was whisked away from me after she was born because she wasn't breathing well.
She would end up staying 8 days in the NICU.
And then for me to leave for home from the hospital without my baby, heartbreaking.
Then to return each morning with milk for my baby, stay all day to help love, cuddle, change, feed, nurture.
All of that helped Brent and I grow.
Our hearts grew, not knowing we could ever have loved like this.
We just plain grew up because we had this fragile new human being that we were in charge of.
And we grew together, as that happens so many times in trials.
***
Next big experience in my life as a mother, we were blessed with a sweet angel that cried for 4 months of her life...straight through.
That was a trial itself.
But Brent and I knew it was because of something...there was something burdening our baby...and we needed to find out what it was.
Sweet Elsie has always had the most perfect smile...even in those 4 months of crying.
She has always been able to squeeze into any one's heart.
We continued to look for avenues to find out what to do about her struggles.
We switched pediatricians and she finally saw and agreed with what we saw...but still with her being so young, we didn't have many options.
Neurologist would only say she was slightly delayed and promised she would be up to speed by the next time we saw him, which of course didn't happen.
Like all Moms now-a-days I turned to the Internet.
I found so much information, a lot of it scary.
Then I had a friend tell me about her friend who went through the same kind of issues.
And her daughter had Cerebral Palsy.
It still took a while to get the correct diagnosis, and although it didn't fix anything...it was nice to finally know.
I have learned so much about being Authentic from this little girl.
She is real.
When she is happy, you know it...and she is usually happy.
She is patient.
She will push and try and then push even harder to do what she wants to do.
She is a light in everyone lives and I am proud to be her Mother.
***
Third experience was when we had Porter...we had a rough start, but we were able to take him home.
A few days later, he was very jaundice and wouldn't eat, so we had to take him to the hospital where he was admitted.
That is where we found out that he had apnea, and we had to stay there for 4 more days.
What amazes me about those 4 days is how I even kept it together.
I stayed in the hospital, in his room, on the couch, each night.
The nurses would come in every 3o min to check on him, take his blood, collect his diapers, make sure I was feeding him.
I was literally living on NO SLEEP.
I still remember thinking about it at the time...I just gave birth, I haven't slept in days, I am emotionally drained...shouldn't I be exhausted???
But I wasn't.
I was there and alert and making sure I was doing everything I needed to get this little boy to our home.
And of course, he came home.
And then I crashed.
That is something about motherhood, when you desperately need the strength, you have it.
It is just there.
Well, I guess it was more due to prayer and help that I had the strength...but I think that experience made me grow as a mother.
And help make me an Authentic Mom.
***
Another experience only happened a few short year ago, but I remember it rocking our world.
I went to my Dr. for a routine exam where some small lump were found in my breast.
And like a whirlwind I had mammogram, biopsy, then another bigger biopsy all to find out everything was okay.
But I am grateful for what I learned in that situation.
First , I already knew that Brent loved me, but in that time I have never felt more supported and lifted up.
He was there for me in every way, and I thank him for that.
I know he too was stressed and worried, but he was always right there, right beside my side making sure I was okay.
I love that man so much.
Second, I learned not to take anything for granted.
I couldn't believe how quickly everything happened.
One minute I was at home doing laundry, then next, on the operating table getting pieces of myself removed!
And of course when something like this happens, you think of the worst and I couldn't help but wonder what would happen to my kids.
Would they even know how much they were loved?
Would they remember the best of me, not the worst?
So that experience helped open my eyes and want to focus on giving my kids good memories to think of when the time finally comes for me to leave them.
***
And the last thing I have learned, well that I will write about anyway...this is turning out to be long...
The little things matter most.
Reading to them every night...such a simple thing...
But it is such a special time for each kid.
I am reading Charlotte's web with both Madi and Cassi...only, I am further ahead with Madi...'cause Cassi also likes to read the Dr. Seuss ABC book, which she has memorized.
But we are catching up to Madi though, because Brent has started reading with Madi too at night.
Right now they are reading about Florance Nightingale.
This one-on-one time is really a big thing too.
I have learned that, mostly in the last year or so...since we became a family of six.
They crave that one-on-one time, and we try to give that to them when we can.
***
So there you have it...a handful of things that have made me a THETA MOM.
Sorry that it turned out to be so long.
But I enjoyed digging into my mind and coming up with stories to share with you.
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Also...
Do you think they are trying to stress me out with this....

I am so NOT ready for Christmas...but I am determined not to stress myself out, and to make it about the season of love and giving!

5 comments:

Young family said...

Thanks for sharing your stories! You are an amazing mom! Your kids have the best mom they could have! Your family has sure had it's scares, worries and trips to the DRs. But you made it thru it and are now some of the most amazing people I know. Thanks for being strong and setting a great example of strength and motherhood!

Cami said...

Haha love the Christmas pics, you should tell them to draw Thanksgiving pics! I am convinced you are an incredible mom!

Books = Possibilities said...

Kim, I am so glad you did this, too. But now I feel like my responses are insufficient! Arg! :)

Sara said...

Kim, you are so amazing!! Thank you for being such an inspiration! I think you are a wonderful mother and perfect for your family!

Brittany said...

Ah, Kim. I should NEVER read your blog while I am work. I cried all the way through that (I think i may have some of my mom in me.) You are a fabulous mother. Brooke and always talk about what a great mom, wife and person you are. You are a greater example to me than you will ever know.