We are tired...

...very tired...

Today was a good and bad day all rolled up into one.

Church, with just the kids and I alone, is almost a joke...
They really aren't very bad...but it is hard to give them all the attention they need, in a reverent way.
Thank goodness I was asked to sub Elsie's class today...or maybe I wouldn't have gone.
But...it is always nice to be at church.

When we got in the car today, I felt a migraine coming on.

I never get those.

I was not excited about that.

I was worried...it must have been the bright sun, cause when we got in the church I felt much better.

Still a dull headache...but no migraine.

Like I said...we are kind of a joke at church, without Dad.

One kid wants this, the other wants that, and then the first one wants what the second one wants...and it goes on and on.

I know that the people who sit right behind us are laughing at me, and feeling sorry for me, all at the same time.
People try to entertain Porter or Elsie by smiling or playing peek-a-boo...and they love that.
I do love the people in my ward...they understand how hard it is to keep little ones reverent...at least I hope so.
All I get at church is smiles...all the time.
Pitty smiles, or happy smiles...I am not sure.
But I can always use a smile.
Things are always bound to go wrong to, when I am left alone with the kids.
Madi and Cassi were not getting along.
Porter was not being very nice either...
Elsie hit her tongue on her sippy cup and bit right through her tongue.
So as I take Elsie out, with her mouth bleeding, I am wondering how things are gonna go as I leave Madi, Cassi, and Porter on the bench alone.
I got the bleeding to stop, but she wants to suck her paper towel as I go back in the chapel.
And guess what?
They are all sitting there.
Being perfect.
I was so proud of my girls.
They know when it is time to step up and do what needs to be done.
Then after sitting a little bit, Porter wanted me to hold him, but Elsie wouldn't let me put her down.
So Madi Bell took Porter out in the hall and calmed him down.
She was only out there for a little bit when she brought back my happy little boy.
That Bell really is so much help.
The rest of the day wasn't too bad.
I even had enough lesson to fill the whole allotted time slot.
With Sunbeams..
I was pretty proud of myself.
At night, when the kids are in bed, I always wish I was nicer to them.
I wasn't mean today...
Just, you know, tired.

After church I felt physically and emotionally exhausted.

But there is still dinner...still dirty kids...still kids who need to be watched over.

And you know what...
I love it.
Tonight when it was getting close to bed time...the kiddos needed some winding down...
So I sat in my new yellow chair...(check out Elsie's opening presents pictures...that is my new 'old' chair.)
And we read books.
When we started, they were all restless...
But I kept going.
Porter laid his head down on my chest.
I was a little surprised...I didn't dare turn the page in case he moved...but he stayed.
So sweet.
Each of the girls lay on the floor, each of them grabbing blankets and pillows.
And slowly, things calmed down.
We were enjoying it.
It was calming and restful.
I do enjoy Motherhood.
You know what...if I had a super easy day at church, and super easy day at home alone with the kids...I may not have taken the time to sit and read to them, trying to calm things down.
And then I would have missed that opportunity to have my little girlies around my feet, and my baby boy in my lap.
Because quiet moments like that do not happen often.
So I am thankful for my rough day this morning...
And I am thankful for the nice calm way they all fell asleep as I read to them.
I sure love my kids.
But I do miss their Daddy....