Saturday January 9

Today was another hard and emotional day.

But it was also a beautiful day.

A beautiful day to honor an amazing mother, grandmother, sister, Aunt, friend.

The day started early to get everyone ready to go and be there by 9.

Elsie had such a bad night.

Like a really bad night.

Whimpering all night.

I pulled her out on the couch to hold her.

She was just so sad.

She misses her Grandma.

Her BFF.

Finally at 2 a.m. she nodded off.

Then we were up at 6:30 to get ready.

She was a trooper though.

We got to the church and went in as a family to see Grandma.

It breaks my heart that our kids have lost her.

She was so much more than a Grandma to them.

She was their friend.

But they have been blessed with so many memories to remember her by.

They all had a hard time when they saw Grandma.

Elsie, she tried hard to hold it back, but she just broke out in sobs.

She will be dearly missed.

The viewing was nice.

The family prayer was filled with cries.

Brent said that his momma would be so mad at us for making such a crying fuss over her.

The service was beautiful.

Filled with stories and happy memories.

And a miracle.

Brooke, our niece who's little boy Cole has been on the liver transplant list for a few weeks, got a call.

They have a liver for Cole!

It is hard to believe that Grandma 'Ene' didn't have a hand in that :)

We haven't heard anything yet, but they were to be at primary children's at 4 this afternoon.

Please pray for their family.

(Just got word that all was a match, and the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow!!!!!!)

It is a still a long road ahead, but a huge step that needed to happen!

After the service, we went to the cemetery.

It was a cold day, but so crisp and clear outside, which hasn't been the case the last few days.

Our cute little Port was a pallbearer.

He walked behind with Dussy boy.

Elsie was happy and comforted that Emmy came down to be with her.

Ariel, Grandma Na and the Miramontes family also came.

So sweet of them to take the time to be with me and my Matthews family :)

Afterwards, we went back to the church for the luncheon.

It was nice to gather together as a family.

Celebrating Grandmas life :)

The rest of the afternoon was spent hanging out with some family back at Gramps house.

And Dani is the best.

They went out to get on the horses.....and Elsie was excited about riding Strip.

But then when it came time, she got nervous, and Dad was taking a nap so she didn't want to go out without him.

So Dani brought Strip right up to the window for Elsie :)

It was a fun reunion for Elsie bug!

Thanks Dani!

Friday January 8

Today was hard, but also good.

It started with running some errands.

After that Brent, Port and I stopped by the sheriff's office for a tour.

Port thought it was pretty cool.

And when walking through the jail part....he was convinced that it was way better to be the good guy than the bad guy :)

I have pictures from that......but I will post them later.

I promise Dussy boy!

Later!

We came back to Gramps house and there were all kinds of family here.

We ate, talked, and got more stuff done for the funeral.

We got a call from Drew and Heather.

They were going to surprise us and come to the funeral.....

But they got as far as Burley and the weather was so bad and they didn't have a good feeling about it, so they turned around.

What great friends we have.

Young family, we sure love you guys.

And we are glad you are safe in your beds tonight.

Well, finally it was time to get ready to go for the viewing.

We left the kids home at Gramps house for tonight.

We went in with Gramps and the rest of the family.

We had our time with Grandma before people started coming.

Andy made an awesome slideshow with so many great pictures of Grandma.

She was such a neat lady.

A lady that touched the lives of so many!

The slideshow brought all sorts of emotion.

So grateful to have known her and that my kids got to spend so much time with her.

But so sad and empty for the loss.

It just doesn't seem real.

There was a steady stream of visitors for 2 hours.

Like I said, she touched the lives of many.

And Grandma, she looked beautiful.

Sometimes I struggle because they don't really look like the person once they have been done up for the viewing.

But they did such a beautiful job with her.

She looked like she did a few years ago before she really started hurting so bad.

Just beautiful.

Gramps was stellar.

It was hard for him and he wanted to just stay close to Grams.

He kept his hand right on the coffin the entire time.

He loves his 'Little bear'.

And he misses her dearly.

But he is being strong.

He says he wouldn't take her back because of how much pain he had to see her in every day.

But he misses her.

We found this poem of Grandmas.

She always wrote poems.

Beautiful poems.

She had a way with words, that's for sure.

We found this poem and we had to get it printed up to put on display with the pictures.

After she had passed away, Nancy and Kayleen found a box Grandma had put together of what her wishes were for her funeral.

In that it had the picture she wanted to use of herself and another one of her poems, that she wanted included in the program.

It reads:

To Those I Love

When I am gone, just release me....let me go.

So I can go to where I'm meant to go.

You must not tie me down with all your tears

Just give thanks that we have had so many happy years.

I gave you all my love, and you can only guess

How much you all gave back to me in happiness.

Thank you for the love you each have shown

But now it's time for me to travel on alone.

So grieve for me a while, and cry some if you must

Let your soul be comforted, in Heavenly Father's trust.

It's only for a little while that we must be apart

So cherish all the memories you hold within your heart.

And when it's time for you to come this way alone

I'll greet you with a smile, and a happy 'Welcome Home'

-Grandma "Ene"

Thursday January 7

It is hard to explain the way the day felt.

Getting stuff done, and being with family.

But still this big hole left where Grandma used to be.

It still is hard to really grasp that she is really gone.

I keep thinking she will walk around the corner.

And Grandpa is being so brave.

But every once in a while, he will just miss her so much and start crying.

He loves her so much.

Dad is trying hard to stay busy.

He took Port and shoveled snow.

Then they went up to the store with Gramps to unload some dog food.

(Yes, he did retire, but he still have a few customers he still supplies for.)

Then they called us at lunchtime and told us to come to Dussy boys house for some yummy lunch that was brought by.

We hung out there for a little while.

It was fun to see Kenna's new little boy, Layton.

The big girls fought over holding him, so I had to set a timer for them to take turns switching :)

And Madi made sure to get her hug from Uncle Sheriff Ugly....not sure what his name should be now that he is sheriff.....

We got a few other things done today.....

Had some more visitors come and talk with Gramps tonight too.

These next two days will be extra hard.

Tomorrow being the viewing and Saturday the funeral.

Wednesday January 6

Brent called me this morning about 3 a.m.

He told me that Grandma was gone.

We didn't talk long.

I was not able to fall back asleep.

I wanted to make to make sure and get up when Madi got up because I wanted to see if she wanted to go to school or not.

I laid there until 6.

I do think I fell asleep for about an hour in there.

I got up and told Madi.

She said she didn't want to go.

I told her we would plan to leave for Wyoming, but she could just go to bed for now if she wanted.

She started crying, and I hugged her.

This is so hard.

The little ones all woke up.

I didn't want them to go to school.

When I told each of them about Grandma they were so devastated.

They all wanted to just get up and go so they could be with dad and Grandpa.

So that's what we did.

We got packed up and loaded up.

I had to call the schools and excuse the kids.

I also had to find a sub for the office, because I was supposed to help today.

I needed to see about cancelling, or rescheduling this Sunday.

Cassi was going to be singing in sacrament meeting.

I hope she can still do it soon.

It is a beautiful song.

Elden came by to check the oil and transmission fluid on the car.

And Vern will be taking car of the animals.

Drew and Heather offered to drive us up there.....so sweet.

And Stacia came by with some cookies and treats for the car ride.

We are so blessed to have such loving people in our lives.

The drive was pretty good.

A few rough, foggy and rainy areas.

But it was okay.

We got her a little after 4:30.

I ran to Brent when I saw him.

I couldn't stop holding him.

I hated being away when I should have been by his side.

And he looked so very handsome with a shaven face and a new haircut.....

It was only one night, but I missed him terribly.

We went in the house where all the kids hugged Grandpa.

Then I hugged Grandpa.

And we both lost it.

He broke my heart with his sobs.

59 years of marriage.

He talked about how they were never apart.

And how he doesn't know what he is going to do now.

But he also talked about her being free of pain.

And how she gets to hold her sweet baby Daralynn now.

It is going to be a long, hard, road.

But we have so many happy memories.

Grandma was such a great example of true self-less love.

She only wanted people to be happy.

Whether she knew them or not.

We talked about stories that Grandma used to share.

She was quite a story teller!

There were lots of visitors in and out.

I spent a lot of time finding pictures to give to Andy to make a slide-show thing.

Lots and lots of pictures.

It breaks my heart, but also makes me so happy....

But almost all the pictures i have are of Elsie and Grandma.

Those two had something very special.

And that is not going to end just because she is on the other side of the veil.

Elsie and Grandma were two peas in a pod.

I am so thankful for the memories they made together.

So thankful for the example Grandma was to Elsie.

I found a picture on my phone form our visit just a week ago.

At nights when we would visit, it would be Dad, Grams, Grandma and me talking.

Well, this time, Madi and Cassi sat in on our talks.

Telling stories......sharing memories.

Dad, confessing stories to his mom she had never heard :)

It was such a special night to get to share with those two girls.

I love this picture because you can see the smile on their faces, looking at their dear sweet Grandma.

I am so thankful that we were able to share just a little bit of time with her, not very long ago.

A tender mercy in this hard time.

Thank you for all the prayers for all our family.

Tuesday January 5

It has a been a hard day.

Grandma didn't have the greatest night.

There was some kidney troubles etc.

Brent just didn't know what to do.

He wanted to be there.

So we decided to get him on a plane and fly him there.

The earliest our of Boise to Salt Lake was tomorrow morning.

So that was gonna be the plan.

Then about 4:20 or so, Brent got a call from Doug saying that she had internal bleeding.

Now was the time to go.

So that is what he did.

We ran around getting stuff packed up for him.

The kids could sense things were not right.

We told them he was going to be with Grandma.

I walked him out to the car, and said good-bye.

When I came in, Elsie was curled up with Cassi on the couch an crying the most gut wrenching cry I have ever heard from Elsie.

My heart broke.

I went right to her, and hugged her, and Cassi and Madi.....

We were quite and hugged and just cried.

Then I got this text from dad when he stopped to fill up on gas.

He said to 'Be Still'.

I felt a calming over me.

Didn't make it easier, didn't stop the crying...but Dad knew that was what we needed to hear.

Port was at Max's house.....

I called Vern to have her send him home.

I told him where dad went and he looked at me with this face that just broke my heart again.

He knew.

Then he started to cry a little......the more and more until he was sobbing.

Cassi suggested that we pull out the pages Grandma had made for us.

over the last year she has been putting together scrapbook pages for her kids and their families.

They have been so treasured.

Stories, pictures, poems.

It did our hearts some good to look through them.

I don't know what will happen....

I don't know.

But I do know these kids desperately love their Grandma.

She is loved by so many.

She is undoubtedly the most self-less person I have ever known.

I have never ever seen her put herself above anyone else.

Ever.

I love her and I love what she has been to me in my life.

I love what she has been to my kids.

My heart just aches right now.

I just got a call....Brent got there safe.

Oh how I wish I was there.

The doctors think that she will go sometime tonight.

Please pray for the comfort of our family.

Especially Grandpa.

Monday January 4

Well, I had so many plans today!

But the boys made it a rough night for me :)

With Brent snoring, and Port coming and waking me up and then Brent getting up really early because he kept thinking about his mom.....and then I couldn't go to sleep either.

Grandma seems to be doing better today.

She has been getting a lot of sleep, so that is good.

They have gotten a lot of liquid off her lungs, over 1.5 pounds!

Yikes!

No wonder she couldn't breathe!!!

She will stay there int he hospital....not sure for how long.

But prayers are very much appreciated!

*****

Once we got the kids off to school, I ended up taking a nap.

Dad went to a meeting thing for the captains test coming up.

Kind of a bummer.

Big bummer!

He may end up having to do it all over again.

He is next in line to move in as captain, as soon as someone retires.

But the list is only good for 2 years and that time is up soon.

The new test is in March.

It really is sad and frustrating for him to have to go through all of it again.

Dad woke me up when he got home.

I still couldn't get motivated and we spent time calling about Grandma and talking about her and memories.

Dad eventually went outside to cut some logs up.

There is a guy in our ward in need of some wood, so Brent is cutting our dead branches up for him.

I still didn't do much.

I did do laundry.

But then I had to hop in the shower and get ready to go get Elsie and take her to PT.

She did great there.

Worked real hard :)

We came home with some pizza for dinner, then the kids did their homework.

After all that we sat together and had FHE.

For FHE we talked about our new family theme for 2016 and also made our new years resolutions.

The theme it all came down to was Pslams 46:10.

I think it will be a good one.

We talked about our family needing to work on many things....patience, kind words, keep the spirit in our home, uplifting, helping each other, etc...

But when it all comes down to it, we all felt good about the scripture:

Be still, and know that I am God.

It really can encompass all that we need to work on.

If we are working on all those things to help make our family the best it can be, then we know that whatever happens, no matter how hard, is what the plan is for our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of personal things I want to work on.

A lot!

And that is the beauty of it all....

When we each try to make ourselves better individually, we end up helping each other as well :)

I hope to get the theme hung up in our home soon!

It is so great to have it up where we can always see it and be reminded of what we want for our family.

*****

Oh, and I had to post a picture of Madi and her piniata....that has taken so many hours from our lives!

She did the school mascot....it turned out pretty dang cool :)

Sunday January 3

This evening Grandpa, Dave and Cindy took Grandma into the ER.

Her breathing has gotten and worse and worse and they finally convinced her to let them take her in.

So it looks like she has some congestive heart failure, which wasn't surprising given all her heart problems.

And also a touch of pneumonia.

As well as just being exhausted.

They gave her some meds and she is on a breathing machine.

Prayers for Grandmas comfort would be much appreciated.....as well as for Gramps.

It is hard for him to see his 'mama bear' like this.

*****

This year we have church at 9.

So our pictures with most likely be after-church pictures for this year :)

I think I will love it.....but after a two weeks break of sleeping in, to be ready by 9:00 comes real early!

The fun part this year.....

Dad is Elsie's teacher!!!!!

I think that will be great.

And Port is super excited about his teacher.

Sister Papa and Brother Papa are his teachers, and I know they will be super awesome.

The best part, Port went to class today, and guess who is in his class???

The cute little girl he has a super big crush on :)

I won't name names, but he is super twitter-pated!

I don;t think we will have issues with him going to class on Sunday's!

I had to say the opening prayer in sacrament meeting.......I tried to keep my mind off of it until right when I had to go up.

It seemed to help :)

I should be good for a couple years now that I have recently talked and prayed!

It was a great testimony meeting today.

I do enjoy fast and testimony meeting.

A lot was said about the atonement and forgiving others.

And also about sharing your testimony.

I do need to be better about that.

Maybe not in the 'get up in church' kind of way.

But I would like to do it here more......I mean this is for our posterity.

I would like them to know how I love this church, dearly.

How I falter each day, but know that I can be forgiven.....and then try harder.

I love the Scriptures and how they seem to jump out at me with just what I need to hear.

A portal for personal revelation for sure!

The knowledge that I can have my little family, for eternity.

So much to be grateful for.

Life is hard, and does not always go the way we think it should, or want it to.

There are struggles that we never thought we would have to deal with.

But we do our best, and press on.

In YW the new theme was introduced.

It is in 2 Nephi 31:20

*Wherefore ye must Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of Hope and a Love of God and of all men.  Wherefore if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end, Behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall have eternal life.*

It is such a great scripture, with so much in it!

I am excited to incorporate it into the YW activities this year, as well as in my personal family life.

After church Bubbles sent a text to invite us to her house to eat her Christmas tree.

Something that is fast becoming our kids favorite traditions!

They made all kinds of new treats to eat too.....but the kids still ate a ton off the tree :)

It was a nice time spent with such great friends.

I love our little lane :)

We had already pre-planned to go to the Morgans tonight for dinner and some games.

So after Bubbles house, we went over to the Morgan's house.

It was a fun night.

Now the kiddos are all tucked into bed, ready to go back to school.

I think we are all ready for a little more of a routine.....and we are SOOOO ready to eat healthier too!

It has been a whirlwind these last few weeks!!!!

*****

You were right Dussy boy.....no pictures got updated today.

Maybe once the kids are back in school......maybe.....

Saturday January 2

Today has been a strangely long day....but it also went quickly.

Weird.

Andy, Katie, Hannah and Millie left for home this morning about 9.

The made the drive safely home to Oregon :)

When they left, the kids got working on their chores on the chore chart.

It was a so great!

I did some work on my blog books.

Not the blog...no.

But the books, which is the reason I blog anyway :)

So I only have the years 2009 and 2010 printed.

But I have 2008, 2011-now being worked on.

That's a lot of work!!!!!

So for today, I just put all the years family pictures on the covers.

And it was so much fun going through pictures!!!

I really need these in books!!!!!

Madi worked on her piniata.

It is turning out good.......with a lot of time put into it!

Cassi went to the movies with her friend Kaili and then hung out at her house.

Port had Max and Graham and Cannon over for much of the day.

Successfully messing up all the stuff the kids cleaned this morning :)

Ha ha.....

The boys helped clean it up before they went home though.

Mostly ;)

So I took Madi to a party after I went to pick up Cassi.

I guess it isn't really a party, just hanging out......

Got home and got the little ones to bed.

I had to run to Walmart to get a few food items for lunches on Monday, and also Madi needed more white crepe paper for her piniata.

So I did that, and then went and picked Madi up.

Now I need to get to bed!

Our church is at 9:00 now!

I think it will be great, but it will take some time to get used to!

Friday January 1

Andy and Katie made it back this way this afternoon.

They will go home tomorrow.

So that means I spent the day cleaning up Porter's room :)

That boy is messy!

I told the kids that I wouldn't make them clean if they would just get along.

And if they fought once, they would have to clean :)

I am happy to say, my kids did pretty much nothing today!

Ha ha.....hey, it's a holiday!

I let them relax.

Tomorrow though....they are in for it!

:)

Madi did work on her homework, which is making an pinata.

And Port played with the boys.

I also put together our chore chart.

The same one we used a few years ago, before the remodel.

But I made new chore cards.

I am excited to get going with it.

Andy, Katie and the girlies got here and I made dinner.

Then we ate and played and they got the girls to bed.

I got my little ones to bed at a good time.

We were gonna play games, but I introduced Andy and Katie to Fixer Upper instead :)

Oh how I love Fixer Upper!