Wednesday September 30

So today was a weird day for me.

The morning went fine.

The gym, kids school, laundry.

I went and did some shopping...the kids are grieving out of clothes and I never got them new school clothes this year 😳

All that was fine.

But then I got home and man, I could feel a panic attack come on.

I tried to distract myself by looking for something to make for dinner, but it made it even worse.

I found a chicken and rice recipe that I was gonna make, but then I saw that it was with cauliflower rice and my brain COULD NOT figure out how to just use regular rice.

I can see how that sounds silly, but it was just too much.

Cassi asked me to take her to a friend's house so they could go to rugby together.

I took her and still feeling that tight chest, that knot in my stomach... I decided to just pick up some burgers from Jack in the box.

Back at home, I told dad how I was feeling (he's at work).

He called me and talked with me for a bit.

Then I got out my chicken nuggets and noticed one was shaped like a heart.

In that moment I felt a big hug.

It's like heavenly father was telling me, 

"I got you.

Here's a little heart to lift your spirits."

A little tender mercy.

I took the little kids to YM/YW.

Cassi ended up playing varsity but I couldn't go watch because of running the little kids around.

I did have a other but of quiet time.

I watered my lilac bushes.

Ate my almond milk ice cream....

Then picked the kiddos up.

Port and I got in the hot tub for a little bit.

Then Cass was back home.

Poor girl feels like the whole varsity team is mad at her.

They didn't lose, but they did tie.

And she did a good job playing, but she doesn't practice with the varsity team, so she doesn't know all the plays.

The last run she got to the ball before everyone and then laid on the ground to pass it to a teammate, but no one was around.

So the other team got it and made a 'try'.

That's how it ended, in a tie.

Cassi felt so bad because the coach played her over other seasoned varsity players...... So now she feels like they are mad at her.

But I think it's all okay.

She played good and did her best.

I'm still feeling pretty yucky and tight chested this evening....

Maybe sleep is what I need ❤️