Sunday April 12

It was a pretty hectic morning.

Dad wasn't feeling too great when he woke up, and he slept most of the morning.

I got the kiddos all ready for church, and I was bound and determined to get a picture of them in their new Easter outfits.....

I knew if I waited, they wouldn't get done till July!

Anyway.....I'm not gonna lie, on the other side of this picture, there was a maniac mom yelling 'JUST SMILE!!!!'

So I got my picture, but I had to leave right away to take Madi to her BYC meeting at the church.

On the way there I had a mini crying meltdown with Madi.

I told her I was sorry for how I acted this morning, but that I feel like I am right at my breaking point and I just can't handle any more!

Madi told me it was okay.

And I know it is.

Sometimes you just can;t hold it in anymore.

So, I dropped Madi off, and got home so I could finish getting ready for church.

When I got home, Dad was awake.

He said to me "What do you think about me going to church?"

I was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

We have 45 minutes until church starts.

I would have to change out of my dress, get Brent undressed, out the brace on, get him in the shower, shower him, get him back in bed, take the brace off, DRY the brace, put new pads on the brace, get him dressed and put the (hopefully dry) brace back on, and then get myself all dressed in my church clothes again.

I won't lie.

I didn't want to do it.

I told him that I didn't think we had enough time, and that I was sorry, I just assumed that he wasn't going, that's why we didn't get things going earlier....

So I walked in the other room to finish getting ready.

And I thought to myself "How dare I!"

He wants to go to church.

He's going to go to church.

So......that's what we did.

It was nothing short of a miracle :)

And I'm not kidding!

We ran through the list of things to get done.

Once I got the brace off of him, I ran it out to Cassi with the blow dryer and she got to work getting it dry.

The little ones were being pretty dang good, so we didn't have to take time our to fix whatever problems usually happen....

And we did it.

We got him to church!

And guess what?????

We were 10 minutes early!!!!!!

I kid you not!

Brent just kept saying, I feel like I need to go.

I am so grateful we were able to make it happen.

Now, sitting upright in the bench seat was not a picnic for him :(

BUT......he was there.

We took the sacrament.

As a family.

It's what we needed.

Today was our fast and testimony meeting.

The testimony time was cut short because we had a visiting quorum of the Seventy member.

For the life of me, my brain is not working, and I can;t think of his name right now.

Anyway, so with him being there, we had our entire stake presidency there as well.

Such amazing and such good men.

When church started, I knew I was going to bear my testimony.

I just knew it.

And I wanted to.

There just wasn't enough time.

Sad.

Brent even turned to me and said he wanted to go up.

WOWZA!

I'll be pushing for that next time :)

Cassi turned to me with tears in her eyes when the testimony time was up and told me that she really wanted to go up too.

Such a tender heart.

I told her she always had next time.

But the important thing is to go home and write it down and write exactly how you feel.

So, I figure that's what I needed to do too.

I mean really, to get in front of the ward and be able to thank them for all that they have done for my family, would be great.

But really, I wanted people to know how much this experience has affected our lives, spiritually.

We have seen so many things happen in these short few weeks that, honestly, I don't know if I could believe it if I didn't experience it with my own self. 

I'm not gonna say things are easy.

You know it is funny, it is when you are in the middle of some very 'spiritual high' kind of stuff that Satan tries to grab you from it.

Tries to not let you feel.

It is a weird feeling to bounce from feeling like everything is going to be okay, everything is how it should be, we can get through this.....

And then going down, down, down, and thinking how can this ever work out? 

When will this ever be over???

Happily, because of the many blessing we have seen in our life lately, we spend most of our time in the 'everything will work out' place :)

But that does not make things easy.

But I am so grateful for the love we have felt from our Savior.

We have always known it.

But for such big blessings/miracles to happen to our little family......we know his hand is in all that we are going through.

We know we will be carried and loved through it all.

He must love us.

We must mean something to him.

I am grateful for that knowledge.

I am so amazed at the direct blessing we received when our family/friend/ward fast was held.

Brent was in a dark place.

I was scared.

How could we get through this?????

But then Sunday, early morning, I heard him crying in his hospital bed.

(Don't tell him I told you ;)

I went over to him.

Worried.

But this was a good cry.

A healing cry.

He pulled me over, and I laid on the bed next to him and we just held each other.

I know we were gonna be okay.

But even better, HE knew we were gonna be okay.

And that is when everything turned around.

He was up, walking, and doing stairs that Sunday.

That is no coincidence.

Anyway, my point is, when we fast, and fast with a purpose, great things can happen.

The Lord has healing powers.

And it was amazing to be able to be a first hand witness of this.

I thought I was in a pretty good place, spiritually.

But I have learned and grown so much, and I want to grow more.

I want to feel that light all the time.

I want to be worthy of the mercies that were given to my family.

I want to be the mom my babies deserve.

The wife that Brent deserves.

I want my family and home to be a safe place that we can encourage each other and lift each other.

Anyway....maybe I am rambling now.

It was so great that my whole family was sitting right there on the church bench together.

Together.

I am so grateful that I get to keep them forever :)

*****

On a side note.....as if we don't have a ton going on in our life.....

Port's primary teacher, who is the only one who can get him to go, got released today!!!!!!

So, ya, he didn't go to class.

Oh, well, he came with me.

Elsie also was a bum!

She went to class, but as I was loading Brent in the car to take him back home, they brought her out crying to me :(

I don't blame them.

Their lives are so hectic right now.....and have been for a really long time!

So, i took her home and she stayed with Dad and I took Port back with me to church.

Oh well, we will get it figured out next week.

I hope......

*****

Can't forget the yummy treats and dinner to got today!

The Capells brought us over some bookies, brownies, and homemade strawberry ice cream!

SOOOOOOO good!

And Katie Wells and Lindy brought us over a yummy chicken ceaser salad for dinner, with more yummy Cookie bars.

Guys......I'm gonna gain 10 more pounds on top of the 10 I already gained from the last 3 months worth of treats and stuff!!!!