Thursday May 23

I have always known that my mood affects the family more than I would like.

But I guess it's not always a bad thing....if my mood is good and nice.

Usually it's not.

Usually I am bossy, impatient, busy, frustrated....

Please tell me I am not the only one????

But I am making a conscious effort....because I can see how BADLY I am affecting the way my kids treat each other.

And I need to change that.

I am focusing on nice and happy things with them.

Trying (so hard) not to yell at them.

It's rough....but today I think I am seeing some rewards from it.

Elsie had a major meltdown this morning.....I think she is completely worn out from this week.

I was patent and loving and talked nice to her and didn't rush her.

Eventually, she calmed down.

We figured out a way to get things going without me getting frustrated and mad.

Hopefully next time, with me acting that same way, we can get through it quicker and easier.

That's my goal :)

And Madi has been so helpful and nice....

I had to pick her up from school today right before lunch because she had a migraine.

As soon as we got to the house she ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Then she took a two hour nap.

She felt much better once she woke up, with just a dull headache.

We will take her to the doc tomorrow to see if there is anything we can do for her.

But she was awesome....so helpful, nice, and pretty happy.

And I kinda think it stems back from me being nice and taking care of her when she wasn't feeling good.

I am guilty, and feel terrible that I am not very compassionate.

I mean, I am nice....but kind of have the 'toughen up, you'll be fine' attitude.

And they don't need that....they need to be loved.

(And so does Dad....)

Anyway, I think she felt loved and happy and in turn, was happy and helpful to me.

I love it.

Then Cassi had a meltdown.

She really wanted to go to the book fair tonight.

I have been asking her for about 5 days to clean her room.

It was still a disaster.

I knew I couldn't give in....she had to clean it.

I said it had to be clean before we could go.

She kept fighting with me, saying mean things, giving mean faces.

But I stayed calm.

I told her that since she was acting that way, we had to skip the book fair tonight.

Because she really needs to know that it is not okay for her to act like that.

She blew up at me....'worst mom in the world', screaming and stomping off.

Nothing new, except usually I am just as fuming as her.

But I stayed calm.

It wasn't but a minute later she came back to me, and melted like butter.

She knew how she acted was wrong.

She felt bad for what she said and she understood why I took that privilege away.

That never happens.

I usually have to go to her, and we have a talk and then it is better.

I was very proud of her for realizing how she acted, and coming to me right away.

I told her that if the morning went smooth, we might be able to go to the book fair before school tomorrow.

I hope we have a good morning :)

Now on to Porter.

I got him busy building Lego'sso I could make dinner....I love watching him and how he thinks when he builds.

Well, he dropped (accidentally) half of his 'invention' that he had been working hard on, got mad and slammed the other half on the floor and ran off to his room yelling "I give up!"

It wasn't too long after that he came back up crying and saying how he just had to 'give up' because it just wasn't working!

I told him that it is okay, that he was so smart and creative that the next thing he built would be even better.

It took him a minute, but I kept reminding him of some of the cool stuff he has built before, and how neat they were, and finally he wanted to try it again.

"Okay Mom, I won't give up."

When I put him to bed tonight I told him how proud I was that he didn't give up, that he kept trying.

I told him how smart he was and that his brain could think up some pretty cool stuff.

He was pretty happy to have a little bit of 'talk time' with me.

He has the best smile :)

He has a little set of Book of Mormon scriptures that he got when the church library was getting rid of stuff.

Well, about a week ago, he asked me to read to him out of that at night.

It has been fun talking to him about the stories we read (2-3 verses a night doesn't get you too far....)

But there are awesome little nuggets in there, even in just a few verses, that I can teach him about.

Pretty neat.

Tucking the big girls in bed, Madi read me one of the verses out of the scriptures that she was reading....

Cassi came in with us and we talked about it.

It was a nice little discussion.

When you not in a 'hurry' a lot of cool things can happen :)

Anyway...so I am trying to turn myself around so that my kids and family can be happier and more loving to each other.

I am blessed to have this family of mine.

My husband who loves me so much and who wants to take care of and love our family.

My kids, even though they drive me nuts, they also make me smile and laugh and think and cry and want to be a better person.

 They deserve to have that better Mom, cause it's a pretty awesome family I have.

I gotta fit in and become an awesome Mom :)

 

Madi babysitting the kiddos while I clean the kitchen

 

Guitar practice for Cass

 

Elsie, doing her reading homework with Madi in her blanket fort she made :)

 



My sweet boy, concentraing on making a super cool crab robot