Sunday July 22

This is gonna sound so dumb....but I thought it was a neat experience for me and I wanted to record it.

So it was about a month ago when I was on a long run.

I started to think about how much I am loving my life.

Loving what our family is becoming and the closeness that we feel here on our little farm.

I am not sure why I started to think about it....but I stated thinking about talking in church.

Talking in church is something I haven't done since I was about 16 years old.

It is one of the most terrifying thing I can think of for me to do.

While running, I came up with what I thought would make a great talk I could give, including our experience losing Porter at Payson Lakes last year.

And how each step after that led us to the new life we have here.

Anyway....I said a little prayer to myself.

In my prayer I said that if there was someone who needed to hear from me, then I would be willing to speak in church.

See, I told ya.

Dumb right?

Anyway....that next Sunday we had a couple in our ward speak about families.

I thought that I was in the clear.

Cause that is what I wanted to talk about :)

Anyway....we came home from church and Brent informed me that he had a talk with the bishop.

He said the bishop asked if we would speak in church in one month.

He said that the topic he wanted us to talk about was Elsie and what we have learned from her being a part of our family.

First of all....I was a bit amazed.

Only because a few days earlier I had agreed in prayer that I would talk in church if there was something that someone needed to hear from me.

And here the bishop was, asking if we would speak in church.

You can't tell me that it was just a coincidence.

You can't tell me that prayer doesn't work.

It really was quite wonderful and testimony building for me.

But I was also terrified.....cause I would have to speak in church.

Over the last month I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't thought about what I would say, how I could say something that would help someone else.

Wanting to do a good job and trying not to think about the fact that I had to get up in front of everyone.

Slowly I got ideas written down and finally things seemed to come together.

Well, today was the day.

I kept it out of my head all morning so I wouldn't sike myself out.

While we sat in the front of the church, I still tried to pretend it wasn't happening.

By hands were freezing cold.

And they were getting numb and curling up.....Brent kept reminding me to breathe.

And then all of the sudden it was my turn.

I read from my paper more than I wanted to....but I guess it kept me safe.

I enjoyed talking about Elsie and the amazing things we have learned from her.

I prayed for the spirit to be there.

I felt it....I hope others did too.

There was an amazing musical number and then Brent spoke.

I enjoyed listening to him.

He did a wonderful job and talked about how we need to become as a child.

How we can learn so much from the innocence and fearless-ness.

He did so good and I really wish I could have recorded it to hear it all over again.

The rest of the day was good.

I feel like I can rest now.

I am so very Thankful we were asked to speak....but also so very Thankful that it is over :)

*****

Port gave the Article of Faith in Sharing time today, and I got up to help him.

He sounds so cute with his little voice in the microphone :)

So this evening the little ones were playing and Porter had the children's songbook propped up on the TV and he was whispering things into Elsie's ear so she could repeat it.

It was pretty adorable.

I love my kids.

I love my husband and I love my life.

I am so Thankful to be blessed in so many ways.

*****

Here is my talk.....

Brent only had a few thoughts written down and went from there.

I don't know how people can do that!

*

The bishop asked us to speak about our little Elsie today. To talk about what we have learned from having her as a part of our family.

I thought I would start by helping you get to know her better.

Elsie was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when she was about 18 months old. She is mostly affected through her muscles. She has very high tone muscles, mixed with weak muscles.

To give you an idea of what Elsie's body feels like, try walking around with all your muscles flexed tight for the whole day. It is pretty hard.

But somehow Elsie has always been able to do it.....and with a big smile on her face.

We can learn so much from Elsie and other children like her.

It is hard to narrow down what we have learned from Elsie. She has been a great example of courage, strength, happiness, faith and unconditional love.

While preparing for this talk I came across this talk Elder Rasband gave in this past April conference:

'After His Resurrection, when visiting the Americas, our Savior, Jesus Christ, reached out to all with this invitation:

Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy. …“And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.”

Great strength can be found in the words “all the multitude … did go forth”—all, brothers and sisters. We all face challenges.'

We all face our own challenges.....be them physical like little Elsie, or emotional, or spiritual....the fact is that we all do. And we all need to be willing to allow help in some way.

We began taking Elsie to different therapies when she was 11 months old because she couldn't hold up her own body to sit, she wasn't crawling or even rolling over, she couldn't hold a bottle or even lift her arms to give you a hug.

We did not have a diagnosis yet, but we knew that she needed extra help to reach her milestones.

She was very particular about who she let hold her though.

Because of the tightness in her body she couldn't bend very easily, but other things were floppy, like her neck, so you had to hold her body a special way in order for her to feel safe and secure.

She had a hard time when we had to hand her off to these strangers.

But as we watched this little girl allow these people to help her, we could see amazing things happening.

What she could not do on her own, we had many loving people who could not wait to push her along to be stronger and better.

We have learned so much from Elsie's willingness to accept help.

She is a hard worker, and will usually do what it takes to reach a goal.

Elsie does not give up when she thinks it might be too hard. She pushes through and is stronger each day for it.

Many times she has been a great example to me of having faith and strength through the hard times.

When Elsie turned three, I think that is when it hit the hardest for me.

She still could not walk without the aid of her walker, speech was very difficult for her and our lack of ability to communicate with her was a frustration for us all and I thought that whatever hopes and dreams I had for this little girl would never come true.

But not long after that, because of the strength and help she gained from so many others in her life, she started to take a few steps on her own. She still used her walker after that to get around, but the confidence that she gained by taking those steps on her own, opened a whole new world for her.

Watching her grow and progress this way proved to me the importance of allowing people to help you, but more importantly, the fact that you have to do your part and give 110% of yourself to meet them in the middle.

You know....we all have some kind of 'disability' in our lives. Hard things we need to overcome. How great would it be to be able to easily accept the help we need to be able to overcome our hurdles.

It might be something as little as asking if your visiting teacher could watch your kids for a little bit so we could de-stress, or it might mean going to the bishop for something that needs to be cleared up, reading the scriptures to find a much needed answer, or of course through humble personal prayer.

And we will find that once we open ourselves up to receive help, that we can gain that strength that we didn't know we had.

I didn't know if I had what it took to be Elsie's mom. The first few months of her life were the hardest ever. Having a baby who cried in pain all the time, and not knowing why her cry would sound like she was in pain. Not knowing how to help her or how to comfort her. Not getting any sleep. It was hard time. The only way I made it through, besides her having the most amazing smile even through the crying, were my prayers to my Heavenly Father. I felt comfort that things would be okay. I felt the strength I needed to make it through the next day. And I knew that things would be okay.....I didn't know when, but I knew that they would.

In Matthew 11:28 it reads : "come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

*

Then I shared my testimony and sat down.

I did it all without fainting...which was a real fear :)