Tuesday August 2

We had a packed day at Payson Lakes.

It was a big day for Port and Bay.

Not in a good way.

This was the day we lost Porter.
Like really lost him.
At the lakes....by himself....for at least a half hour, if not more....by himself.
We had a very fun day filled with swimming and fishing and eating and playing with cousins.
It was only Em, Steph, Bruce, their kids, and Brent and My family that went.
Everyone else had plans for the day.
So much for tradition.... :)
Just kidding.....anyway.
There were two main events that happened that day.
The day was winding down.
Madi and Dad had fished all day and did pretty decent.
Cassi decided to go out and fish with Dad, and she caught 4 fishes right away.
I wanted to go get pictures of her, so Em and I and Elsie and Porter started down the trail that was a 15 min walk or so to where Dad was.
About half way there, we met up with Bay, Madi, Morgan, and Owen.
They were tubing in the lake and pulled up on the side in front of us.
As they were walking down the path, they came upon a rope swing.
We had watched kids jump off this all day long.
The kiddos decided that they wanted to give it a try.
Em and I thought nothing of it, cause we had seen kids jump off it all day.
Madi told me to hurry and take a picture before Bay changed her mind.
I did, and she jumped.
She came back up with a panicked look on her face.
We weren't sure what was going on.
We finally figured out that she had hit her leg on a rock or something sharp down in the water.
I couldn't tell how bad it was, but she did have two big gashed on her shin and knee.
I pulled her out of the water and sat her on the side while I ran to go get Brent and Bruce so they could assess the situation.
Brent got to her and knew right away it was very deep and needed stitches.
But we were up the canyon and down the trail quite a ways from our vehicles.
The men decided to grab Bruce's fishing cart and pull Bay down the trail on that.
As Brent went that way with most the kids, I headed back to pack up the fishing stuff with Em and Elsie.
We were waiting there for quite a while cause it was such a long walk back and forth.
Em decided to go meet them half way to grab the wagon to make the trip faster.
I used the walky-talky and communicated with Steph and whoever had the walky-talky at the time.
Steph said that she and Bruce were headed out to take Bailey to the emergency room.
I asked if Port was okay at one point, and Cassi answered back saying he was fine.
So I waited more.
Em arrived with the wagon and we started to pack stuff up.
Eventually Brent showed up.
We started to get everything ready to take back and realized that everyone was there.
Everyone except for Porter.
I bolted towards the main area, Brent bolted the other direction.
You could hear our scream all around the lake.
Em said that as Brent passed people you could hear more and more calls for Porter.
I have never, EVER, experienced such a feeling as I did running to find my little boy.
My little boy. Who was alone, in the mountains, with lots of water.
My mind raced with all the things that could happen to him.
I didn't even know where to look for him.
We couldn't think of the last time we had seen him.
I wasn't breathing.
How could this happen?
I ran.
Brent ran.
We were both in a panic.
I don;t know if panic is even a good enough word.
We were absolutely terrified.
I came along the trail after what seemed to take hours, and I saw the main area.
As I rounded the corner, there I saw him.
He was standing there right in the middle of the trail.
His arms dangling down to his sides with those big old arm floaties on.
It was a bit of a surreal moment.
Like a dream.
He was completely in focus, but all around him was a blur.
He seemed to be glowing.
I know this all sounds cheesy, but it is what it is.
The best way I can describe it was that he looked as though he was being surrounded and protected by angels all around him.
Like he was being kept safe so I could find him.
I will NEVER forget the way he looked there, all alone.
He was just standing there.
Not moving at all.
How often does that kid stand still?  Never!
I felt a wave of emotion.
Joy and elation mixed with the fear and adrenalin built up.
I ran to him and grabbed him.
He was a bit confused and I said over and over again that we were so sorry we lost him.
He looked at me and held my face and said "It okay, I be back. You not lose me."
I was shaking.
Porter just held me tight.
He knew that is what I needed.
Just then, Brent ran around the corner.
He was white as a ghost.
He grabbed Porter from my arms and ran up into the trees with him and fell to his knees out there in the mountains.
How could we be so blessed for our little boy to be just fine when this kind of thing has happened to so many others with such a different outcome?
I never, in my life, ever want to feel like that again.
I didn't want to let that boy go again. Ever.
Once we calmed down, Em came around the trail with the wagon and the rest of the kids.
We packed everything in the trailer and fit all the kids in the car.
We had two of Steph's kids as well.
We got down the mountain and got a hold of Steph at the emergency room and said that Bay did in fact need stitches.
Poor girl.
She was a trooper for sure.
We took all the stuff to Steph and Bruce's house and hung out there, cleaned and gutted the fish (something Cassi loved and Madi, not so much) and waited for the Holdaway's to return.
I still had a hard time letting go of that boy.
We hung out with them for a little while before we headed back to Em's and called it a night.
When Brent and I were laying in bed that night, we thought about what had happened.
Why did it happen?
How could it happen?
We talked about our family, and about our dreams.
I am not the kind of person who can take stories that happen to me in my life and find some kind of lesson out of it.
But to me this seemed so clear.
Again, this is cheesy, but I don't care.
What we are seeing in the world, and very close to home for us, families are being ripped apart.
Things that start as small things become big things and you lose the big picture.
In our Payson lakes story, Port represents our family.
So near and dear to us.
We love it and cherish it and it is everything to us.
Sometimes we lose sight of those important things.
And not even with bad things.
Bay isn't a bad example in life.....just things we bring into our world that distract us from what we should be keeping track of.
We were so concerned with taking care of Bay and getting her back, that Port got lost in the mix.
There are so many things in this life that can easily distract us from our families.
Things that don't even start off as bad.
But bit by bit can destroy your hopes and dreams for your families.
This was very profound for me.
I can see how things can easily make us lose focus on what is the single most important thing to us, and for me, that is my family.
Anyway, that is my lesson for the day.
One that I hope to never forget.